You will always have a mix of people in your life. You will have those who tell you that you can make a full-time income selling your crochet, and those who say it isn’t possible. Deep down we know what it is what we want, but do we truly know what it is that we need?
Right now I’m stuck. I’m at that point in my life where I need to make one of the biggest decisions…like ever. I’m pregnant with my third child, and have the opportunity to leave the military. Thanks to the military, I have training that could allow me to get a well-paying desk job. The problem is, I don’t have enough time under my belt for these companies to consider me for the available positions. Not only that, but my heart belongs at home with my kids and my yarn.
I have this burning desire to earn a living for myself, by myself. I acknowledge that I’m good at crochet. People like the items I make, and I truly enjoy making them. On top of that, I have a desire to help others and to share my progress with whoever wants to hear about it, making this blog a no-brainer for me. I’m even starting to branch out and try new things, such as pattern designing!
So what’s keeping me from following my dreams…
Money. That is the only thing keeping me from going all-in with my crochet business. While I have no doubt that I will be able to make the amount of money required to continue to pay our bills, the instability is enough to make me crazy. Craft shows are few and far between, and my blog is not yet monetized. My YouTube channel has about 30 followers, and I only have about 200 followers on Instagram. I’m nowhere near ready to make my love for crochet a full-time gig. Also, with a third child on the way finances are going to be even more tight.
Another reason I can’t just jump head first is because I’m not getting full support from my friends and family. Heck, my own husband doesn’t even read my blog (he told me himself), and practically none of my friends are subscribed to any of my social media platforms. I’m in this alone, and pretty much have been since day one. I’m solely relying on myself and strangers on the internet to help me grow my business.
What do I need to do then?
I’m going to have to suck it up and get a … gulp … real job. Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying. I’m just not getting the interviews and call-backs. What I’m trying to say, is that I need to want to get a full time job, at least until my crochet business takes off. No matter what it is in my life that will truly make me happy, there are 4 other people who truly depend on me, three of whom have no say in our finances and living arrangements. This is what is most important to me, because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if my children had to suffer because of a selfish choice of my own.
There is one thing though that I’m not willing to do, no matter what. That’s staying in the military. Thanks to the military I’m struggling with all sorts of mental issues, and even one more year in uniform would be enough to do me in for good. I’m no good to my family if I’m no good to myself. I’m having issues getting others to be on board with this decision, but to those of you who may actually be reading this post, please listen up: I AM NOT HAPPY. Isn’t that important to you as it is to me?
13 years of my life doing for others who do nothing for me in return. 13 years of moving, early mornings and late nights. All of the instability with my schedule is just a mess in a dual-working family with three kids. If a kid gets sick, who takes off of work? My husband who makes more money than me? I don’t think so. Not only that, but I’m still required to do the household chores after work. No one else does them. At least with a regular job I’ll be able to better plan my time. With a regular job I won’t have to wake up at 0450 to go to formation instead of nursing my newborn. I’m good.
This post wasn’t intended to be a bashing on the military. In fact, I still whole-heartedly support the military and those who serve it! I just acknowledge the fact that this life isn’t for me. And all I’m asking is that others respect that.
Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
In conclusion, I just want the world to know that no matter what happens, I will always try my best. I know what my passions are, but I’m aware of my responsibilities as a wife and mother. Support or not, I will do what’s best for myself and my family at the same time, and if I get offered a full-time job, I’ll take it.
But I will never stop busting my butt to build the empire I so desire.
